PARENTS: MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LAST MONTH OF SUMMER
Steve Perkins • July 28, 2022
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.”
Leave and cleave.
This summer, two of my kids decided to leave. Well, for a little while, at least. One will return to college nearby in Minneapolis this fall, and the other will come home for one final year in the nest. And while neither plan to cleave to a spouse any time soon (they’re 19 and 16), their leaving for the summer still hit us hard. Like you, if you’re a
parent, both my wife and I love our kids, deeply. We’ve invested in them hugely, and even though they’re doing the things we want them to do (both serving at Christian camps and ministries), we miss them terribly when
they’re gone.
Proverbs reads, “Teach children on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” Proverbs 2:26.
So far, so good.
My two older kids (again, ages 19 and 16) love the Lord and his Church. My younger two (ages 11 and 8) appear be going the same direction. I’m proud of that. More so, I’m thankful. It’s no secret, a lot of pastors’ kids don’t end up in the same place. Only God!
That being said, here are a few things that are working for us. I’ve talked about these before, but wanted to share them again in view of these last precious weeks of summer.
As parents, we try to focus on. . .
Relationship, not ownership.
Too many times, we look at our children as if they belong to us and us alone, when they don’t. My children, as much as I love them, belong to God far more than they will ever belong to me. They are loved by him far more than
they will ever be loved by me. All four of my kids are simply on loan from God, and the time will come when they must leave, as they should.
(I talk a tough game, but I’m hanging on for lots of grandchildren. Let's do the math... 4 kids x 4 grandchildren = 16 grandchildren! Maybe. We’ll see.)
I’m not saying I like it when they leave. It’s just the way it is. And, as a parent, I need to make sure that I don’t end up needing my children more than they need me. It’s not healthy. It’s burdensome. I don’t want my kids having to spend their lives making mom and dad happy and meeting our needs when they can be out there in the world serving God instead.
Relationship, not rules.
It may surprise you, but my wife and I are anything but disciplined parents. We haven’t done a lot of the things good parents are supposed to do, like nightly family devotions, limiting screen time, doing chores and the rest.
It’s not that we’re against those things. Far from it. We’re just not good at seeing them through.
And yet, all four of our children, somehow, are still well-adjusted, self-aware human beings who love the Lord. As someone on our board of directors said to me several months ago, “Steve, you really do live with some wonderful human beings.” Don’t I know it.
The difference again, I think, is relationship. And relationship, I’ve found, works a whole lot better than rules. When kids know they’re loved, they behave accordingly.
Relationship, not expectation.
Some expectations are good, but which expectations matter the most? A high GPA? A solid ACT score? Your kid being the star player on the football team or the beauty at the ball? None of these things are bad. They’re just not all that important.
Attention suburban parents! Parenting is not primarily about getting your kids into the right activities or the right school or doing all the right things.
Parenting is about relationship and pointing your kids to Jesus. Kids who know they’re loved by their parents, and more importantly, God, seem to turn out somehow, in some way.
So, that being said, it’s summer! Spend some extra time with your kids this season doing just that: relating and pointing. As the Proverb promises, when you do that, well, they may just turn out.
But don’t get too attached. . . because they’ll soon be leaving.
It’s summer! The days are longer, the grills are fired up, and calendars are sprinkled with road trips, weddings, beach days, and family reunions. After a long winter (and a chaotic spring), we all need a little rest. But here’s a gentle reminder: while you might take a break from your routine, don’t take a break from your faith. Vacations are great for the soul, but so is staying connected to the One who made your soul. Faith isn’t a To-Do List, but it should also never be “Out of Office.” When life slows down, it’s tempting to press pause on spiritual habits: church attendance, devotional time, small groups, even prayer. But God doesn’t need you to perform for Him—He just wants to stay close. Whether you’re watching the sunset at the lake, standing in line at Disney, or sitting on your front porch with a cold lemonade— God is already there. 3 Easy Ways to Keep Your Faith in Gear This Summer You don’t have to do anything complicated to stay spiritually grounded while you're on the go. Here are a few simple ideas: 1. Make Worship Part of the Road Trip Create a playlist of worship songs or podcasts and press play between destinations. Turn the car into a moving sanctuary. Northgate Live Streams every service and has a huge archive of music and messages, too! 2. Bring Scripture with You (Digitally or Old-School) Download a Bible app, pack a pocket devotional, or screenshot a verse each week. The goal isn’t to be impressive, it’s to stay connected. 3. Use Nature as a Reminder The lakes, the trees, even your neighbor’s backyard flowers—creation speaks! Let the beauty around you nudge you to say thanks and talk to the creator. God Doesn’t Clock Out. One of the best parts about our relationship with Jesus is that it’s not confined to a location, schedule, or season. He doesn’t need you to be “at home” with your regular routine to be present in your activities. He’s walking with you through every vacation photo, every quiet moment, and every family memory you’re making. So go ahead— rest, relax, recharge. Just don’t forget to bring Jesus with you.
“For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.” As we come to the final line of the Lord’s Prayer on this Palm Sunday , we are reminded that Jesus didn’t enter Jerusalem with the might of a warrior, but with the humility of a servant. The crowds shouted “Hosanna!” expecting a political revolution, but Jesus came to establish a far greater kingdom—one that would rule hearts, not just nations. This final phrase of the Lord’s Prayer isn’t just a cap on a beautiful prayer, or simply a sentiment of respect. It’s a declaration of trust: God is sovereign. The kingdom belongs to Him. The power is His. The glory is His—forever. Even now, Jesus reigns. And though we live in the tension of the “already, but not yet,” we can be certain: God is completing what He began. As citizens of His kingdom, we’re called to reflect His rule—marked by peace, justice, grace, and truth. C.S. Lewis said it well: “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal… It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit.” We live in light of eternity, under the rule of an eternal King. So as we wave our palm branches and lift our prayers this weekend, let’s do it with full confidence that Jesus is King, and He is worthy of our trust. Reflection Questions: What does Palm Sunday reveal to you about the kind of King Jesus is? How can you reflect His kingdom, His power, and His glory in your own life this week? Amen. Let it be so.
“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” – Matthew 6:13 Life is full of trials, moments when we feel tested, tempted, and even attacked. Every hardship comes with a choice—will we turn toward God in trust, or will we rely on our own understanding? The truth is, God is not just our protector; He is our Deliverer. He doesn’t just remove us from danger—He brings us to Himself. C.S. Lewis once said, “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” We may believe in God’s goodness, but when the weight of life presses in, do we truly trust Him? The Reality of Temptation Temptation isn't just about avoiding obvious sins. It’s the subtle pull to rely on ourselves instead of God, to give in to fear, pride, or control rather than faith. James 1 reminds us, “ Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.” We are most vulnerable when we think we can handle things on our own. Even Jesus was tempted. After fasting for 40 days in the wilderness, the devil tried to lure Him away from trusting the Father. But Jesus remained faithful, showing us that temptation is not just something to resist—it’s an opportunity to deepen our dependence on God. More Than Rescue When we pray, “deliver us from the evil one,” we are asking for more than escape. We are inviting God to transform us. He delivers us not only from external dangers but also from the sin within us—the fears, habits, and desires that keep us from fully embracing His love and purpose. God’s deliverance is not passive. He strengthens us, refines us, and shapes us to become more like Jesus. Every test we face reveals our weaknesses but also invites us to grow. Romans 8:28 reminds us, “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” Even in hardship, God is at work. A Question for Reflection Where do you feel most tempted to rely on yourself instead of God? How might today’s challenges be an opportunity to trust Him more deeply? God is faithful! He is our Deliverer—not just pulling us out of trouble, but drawing us closer to Himself. Will you trust Him today?
Have you ever struggled to forgive someone who hurt you? Maybe they never apologized, never acknowledged the damage they caused, and you’re left holding onto the weight of that wound. It’s easy to believe that time will heal it or that ignoring it will make it go away. But deep down, unforgiveness festers like an untreated wound, leading to bitterness, resentment, and distance from God’s peace. The good news? God offers a different way—a way of grace and freedom. God’s Grace IS More Than We Deserve Romans 5:8 reminds us, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Before we acknowledged our sin, before we even knew we needed forgiveness, God made a way for us to be reconciled to Him through Jesus. His grace is not conditional, temporary, or dependent on our actions. It is freely given, unearned, and overflowing. But what about the sins committed against us? Just as we have sinned against God and others, others have sinned against us. And just as we need God’s forgiveness, so do they. Forgiveness IS The Bridge to Healing Nothing destroys relationships faster than unforgiveness. Holding onto offense builds walls, isolates hearts, and prevents healing. C.S. Lewis once said, “ To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” That’s a hard truth. But it’s also a freeing one. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing the wrong or pretending it didn’t hurt. It means releasing the debt, just as God has released ours. When we pray, "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12), we are asking God to help us reflect His grace—to let go, to heal, and to trust Him with the justice and restoration we long for. A Permanent Grace The world often sees grace as temporary , something that must be earned back over time. But God’s grace is permanent. He doesn’t keep a record of wrongs or wait for us to prove ourselves worthy. Psalm 103:12 tells us, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." If we trust in Jesus, our forgiveness is secure. The same is true for those we struggle to forgive. We forgive not because they deserve it, but because God calls us to. And in doing so, we experience the freedom of living in His grace rather than being bound by pain. Reflection Questions: Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? What’s holding you back? How has God’s grace personally impacted your life? How can you extend that grace to others? Do you truly trust that God’s way of forgiveness is for your good? Why or why not? God’s grace is good. It is undeserved. It is limitless. And it is meant to flow through us to others. Will you trust Him enough to extend it? Come to church this weekend as we learn how to do this together!
"He who provides for this life but takes no care for eternity is wise for a moment but a fool forever." — John Tillotson Every day, we find ourselves in need—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Some days, those needs feel small: a little extra patience, clarity on a decision, or a peaceful moment amid chaos. Other days, they feel overwhelming: financial struggles, a heavy heart, or a battle we never saw coming. Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). What may sound like a simple request, actually reveals so much more. It’s an acknowledgment that we rely on God not just for survival, but for everything we need to truly live and flourish. God’s Daily Provision Jesus reassures us in Matthew 7:7-11 that God, as a good Father, delights in providing for His children. But His provision isn’t always what we expect. He doesn’t just give us what we ask for—He gives us what we need . And sometimes, that means trusting Him when His answer doesn’t match our request. Daily bread isn’t just food on the table. It’s peace when our thoughts are restless, strength when we feel weak, wisdom when we’re confused, and grace when we’ve fallen short. It’s the presence of God in the details of our lives, shaping us for something greater than we can see. Living in Trust, Not Worry We don’t know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow. Trusting God as Provider means living with open hands—bringing our needs to Him daily, believing He will supply exactly what is necessary. It means shifting our focus from scarcity to abundance, from fear to faith. A Moment of Reflection What is something you’ve been holding onto in worry instead of trusting God to provide? How has God provided for you in ways you didn’t expect but later realized were exactly what you needed? Take a moment today to bring your needs before God. He sees you. He knows. And He provides. Come to church this weekend to be encouraged!
We say it in church. We read it in scripture. But do we really mean it? "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew 6:10) This is more than a hopeful wish—it’s a declaration of surrender. A Kingdom with a King God is not just a distant deity; He is a King with a kingdom. His rule is just, His ways are good, and His will is perfect. In His kingdom, the broken are restored, the weak are strengthened, and justice prevails. But here’s the challenge: if we want His kingdom to come, we have to let go of our own. The Prayer of Exchange When Jesus teaches us to pray, He invites us to an exchange. The word for “pray” in this passage means to trade our desires for God’s. That means we’re not just asking for good things to happen—we’re surrendering our will for His. C.S. Lewis put it this way: “There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your way.’” The question is, which one are we? What’s Holding Us Back? Sometimes, we resist because we don’t fully trust that God’s way is best. We want Him to fix things from a distance, but He chooses to work through His people—through us. Other times, we misunderstand what “good” really means. We think of good as second-best, the bare minimum to get by. But God’s goodness is not mediocre. It is full, abundant, and exactly what we need! An Invitation to Trust Praying “Your kingdom come, your will be done” is a call to action. It means living in a way that reflects heaven’s reality here on earth. It means trusting that God is working, even when we don’t understand. So, take a moment to reflect: What areas of your life are hardest to surrender to God? Do you truly believe that God’s will for you is better than your own? God is bringing His kingdom to earth. The question is—are we willing to be part of it? Come this weekend for part two of our study! And -- it's not too late to join a small group!
Most of us know The Lord's Prayer by heart. We pray it regularly. Maybe even religiously. But we should ask ourselves: Do we speak these words because we think this is what we’re "supposed" to say? Or are we praying with the purpose of these words becoming our hearts desire? Do we really know what were declaring about God and His kingdom? Do we know what we’re asking God to do in our lives? This week, we begin a brand new sermon series, and churchwide study, for the 40 days leading to Easter. We'll be diving deep into The Lord's Prayer and shaping our hearts around his kingdom and his will, deciding that we truly want life on earth to be as it is in heaven. Here's just a tiny sneak peek at this week... When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He started with "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name." Those words set the stage for everything else that follows! They remind us who God is, how close He is, and why He’s worth trusting with our lives. God as Our Father God isn’t some distant, disconnected force. He calls Himself our Father—the one who creates, cares for, and walks with us. He brings us into His family, making us part of something bigger than ourselves. No matter where we come from or what we’ve been through, we belong to Him and to one another. Life can be messy, and relationships can be hard. We hurt each other, we struggle, and sometimes we feel alone. But God designed us for community. He never meant for us to do life on our own. When Jesus says, "Where two or more are gathered in My name, I am there," He’s reminding us that we’re never alone. A Name Set Apart When we say "hallowed be Your name," we’re saying that God is set apart—holy, different from everything else. His name carries His character, authority, and reputation. He’s not like anyone or anything else. He’s above it all, and yet, He invites us to know Him personally. We put our trust in all kinds of things—careers, relationships, causes, even our own abilities. But are they truly worthy of our devotion? Do they hold up when life gets hard? God does. He’s been faithful since the beginning, and He won’t fail us now. What Are You Living For? We all chase after something. Maybe it’s success, security, or a dream we’ve had for years. But at the end of the day, the question is: is it worth it? Will it last? God’s kingdom is the one thing that will never fade. When we put Him first, everything else falls into place. He gives us wisdom to balance our work, relationships, and passions in a way that brings real peace and purpose - because they are centered on him. Life throws challenges our way, but when we trust God as worthy—of our time, our trust, and our whole hearts—we find strength that lasts. Whatever comes next, we can face it knowing He is more than enough. CONSIDER THIS: As you get ready for this week's study, here are some questions connected to the content, that can serve as a primer to the weekend teaching and group discussion. What are some things in your life that you tend to put your trust in over God? Does knowing God as your Father change the way you view yourself and others? What definitions, pictures, thoughts, or feelings pop up when you hear the word "holy"?
Nancy Grams. For over a decade, Nancy has poured her heart and energy into serving on Northgate's Board of Directors, always with a spirit of gratitude, humility, and a strong sense of purpose. As she transitions from this role, we wanted to take a moment to reflect on her invaluable contributions and hear from Nancy herself about her journey with us!
It's fall, y'all! As the leaves all change and the crisp air rolls in, fall offers us a beautiful reminder of God’s creation and the simple joys of the season. From picking apples to finding the perfect pumpkin, local orchards and patches around the Twin Cities provide the perfect opportunity to slow down, connect with the fam, and embrace the beauty of fall. Whether you're savoring a warm apple cider or wandering through a corn maze, these experiences are a wonderful way to experience community and gratitude for the season's blessings. Here are a few of Northgate Staff's favorite spots to explore...
What a difference one letter can make! To be influenced means to be affected or changed in how one behaves, thinks, and develops. To be an influencer is to be someone who affects how others behave, think, and develop. Which one does God want believers to be? Does He want them to be influenced? Or to be an influencer? The answer is: both. When someone first comes to the Lord, they need Godly influence in their life. Mature Christians are needed to come alongside them, helping them understand what "being a Christian" is all about—showing them how to live out their faith and discover their purpose in God's kingdom, as well as how to live out that purpose. However, as believers grow in faith and maturity, they become the influencers to those who are young in the faith. They help others find their purpose in God's kingdom and guide them in walking the faith life they have entered into. So, what does all this have to do with cell phones, social media, and overbooked schedules? Quite a lot, actually. Many would agree that cell phones and social media are two of the biggest influences in today's culture. Consider how different things were just sixty-three years ago. Phones hung on the wall in homes, and wealthier households might have had more than one. Then came portable phones, which operated within a limited range, but they allowed freedom to move around the house while talking. If no one was available to answer the phone, the caller left a message on an answering machine. Home computers didn’t hit the market until 1977, and they were large, expensive, slow, and less functional than modern cell phones. In 1983, the internet was born, making information accessible at the touch of a few keys. In 1997, social media made its debut with Six Degrees, starting a race that led to platforms like Friendster, MySpace, LinkedIn, YouTube, WordPress, and Instagram. These advances, driven by the space race and technological breakthroughs, have undeniably transformed the world in every aspect, from medicine to manufacturing, education, air travel, and even warfare. But at what cost to society, culture, and individuals? Many of us have grown reliant on modern technologies, so much so that if they were to disappear, we might find ourselves unsure of how to navigate daily life without them. Additionally, while these advancements have brought convenience, they’ve also contributed to a shift in how we connect with one another. Amid the hustle of work, family, church, sports, and countless other commitments, finding time for genuine human interaction has become more challenging. Relaxation now often involves screens—whether it's laptops, cell phones, or TVs—rather than gathering around the table for meals or engaging in meaningful conversations. Social media, though it can keep us connected, sometimes takes the place of in-person fellowship, with virtual interactions becoming more common than face-to-face time with friends. But real relationships were the very reason God created humankind! He desired a relationship with people who would worship Him out of free will, not coercion. And in Genesis, God created Eve because it was not good for man to be alone. This craving we have for relationships is exactly what draws us to social media and shows about characters we identify with. So where's the balance? How can we be certain we are more heavily influenced by God, than by media? And is it possible to use those same tools to help influence others to grow in relationship with Him? In our "Over the Influence" teaching series, Pastor Steve shared some valuable insights on how to manage our screens and social accounts wisely, in an increasingly digitally-dictated culture. Here are a few more: TRACKING YOUR TIME: Personal reflection and change can lead to a healthier relationship with technology. Track and inventory your screen time, then determine if you need to be more intentional. One can decide, in advance, not to be too heavily influenced, but instead to become the influencer. PLAY THE ALGORITHMS: By unfollowing those who post content that conflicts with one’s beliefs, and scrolling past unwelcome material, a person can reduce negative influences without completely cutting off communication. Quick searches on scripture, apologetics, Christian authors, and other edifying subjects will also positively inform what's on your feed. YouTube, for example, offers a treasure trove of worship music, any by watching those videos, more of that nature will be suggested to you. It’s about controlling what is seen rather than being passively influenced by it. SHINE A LIGHT: Posting content that builds others up, strengthens them, or glorifies God also changes the way social media is used. Do you have a story to tell? Love a certain scripture passage, worship song, or church event? Use your platform! Share something good and engage healthy conversations in the name of Jesus. CONSIDER QUITTING: While it's unlikely that any of us are abandoning our phones for good, each of us probably has one game, streaming app, or social account that isn't helpful or necessary. Consider which one you might want to quit and get rid of it. In doing so, you might reclaim 2 minutes or even 2 hours back each week! Try making a small change this week, and let us know how it goes!
