UNLEARNING FEAR
Fear is a funny thing.
It is something that can cripple you, or motivate you, though not a great motivator in my opinion, or something that can confuse you. One thing, though, that we tend to forget as Christians is that it separates us from God. When fear creeps in, we say in our hearts that God can’t or that He won’t, showing a lack of trust and faith in the One who created us.
There are so many times in my life that I have been overtaken by fear. Fear has been my motivator to see myself as the center of the universe. It has been my kryptonite as I have delved into a spiral of terrible choices that led to being stuck in an abusive relationship with drugs and alcohol. Fear has been the parasitic entity that has kept me from investing in relationships that I was in fear of losing.
What are the things that keep you awake at night? What fear is gripping your heart so tightly that it makes it difficult, to the point of impossible, to hear God’s voice through all of the noise? What are you afraid of losing, stepping into, stepping out of, missing out on, investing in, or changing? What is the fear in your life that you desperately need God to speak into with all wisdom and truth?
For me, one of those driving fears that led me to step away from Him was the fear of losing my parents. When I was younger, at age seven, I had lost my grandfather, Carl, on my mother’s side. He was a kind man whom I admired deeply. Previous to his passing, I had lost my grandmother Mabel and grandfather Conrad before I could even have the chance of knowing them. That left my precious grandmother Sylvia, whom I loved dearly.
Seeing many of my friends experience having all of their grandparents in their lives for a long time, some still even to this day, had me grieving the loss of having relationships with my grandparents. That grief helped to generate a fear of losing my parents as well. Not just for me losing my parents, but for my own future children not having the ability to get to know my parents as their grandparents.
This fear drove me in many ways.
I didn’t invest in the relationships that I feared losing, partly because of the pain of someday losing them that I had already been putting myself through. I resented those who had good relationships with their parents and grandparents. I played the victim over and over again in my head. I let that fear drive me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
The truth is we are all going to pass away someday, and we do not have control over that. The fear of losing my parents in the future drove me to ignore the relationship I had with them at the moment. What I could somewhat control, that being me intentionally investing my time and effort into building a relationship with my mom and dad, I had given up and exchanged to be controlled by what I feared losing the most.
But God...
After a fierce time in my life, God brought healing and restoration to me as I learned to listen to His voice, to trust Him, and to be obedient to His will. I read through Scripture, holding onto promises that not only captured my heart, but my attention too. Scripture that told me that He is for me, not against me (Rom. 8:31). Scripture that teaches me not to fear because He is with me (Isa. 41:10). Verses that show fear is a trap (Prov. 29:25). And His Word that He hears us when we seek Him, and He will deliver us from our fears (Psalm 34:4).
God’s Word reminds us that we do not need to fear, as God is with us. If you have placed your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, God is with you. His Holy Spirit is with you!
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
2 Timothy 1:7 NLT.
God is fully capable of replacing the fears that grip us, imprison us, and drive us with power, with love, and with self-discipline. He is for us.
He is for you!
Though fear has this tendency to come creeping in, taking root in our hearts and minds, we can be assured that God can weed out even the deepest root that wants to cripple our lives. The enemy has come to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus has come to give us life to the full (John 10:10). It took me a long time to realize that I do not need to be paralyzed by fear.
The power of God’s Holy Spirit is real and is alive in me as a believer and follower of Christ.
The same can be true for you.











